The ULTIMATE Inuyasha Fic!
by Catwho
Summary: Summary: I suck at summeries. I suck at writing in general. If you read this, Inuyasha will tell you your brain is broken. Written for Kristine Batey's Ultimate Inuyasha Fanfic Challenge, or just for the heck of it. Don't forget to count the clichés!


The ULTIMATE Inuyasha Fic!  
  
or, The Return of the Hanyou  
  
or, Why Catwho never finished the sequel to Under the Dog Star  
  
Summary: I suck at summeries. I suck at writing in general. If you read this, Inuyasha will tell you your brain is broken. Written for Kristine Batey's Ultimate Inuyasha Fanfic Challenge, or just for the hell of it.  
  
The entire gang had crossed over the well to pick up Kagome from high school, including Sesshoumaru and his friends for some reason.   
  
"Why is your mate always late?" Kouga asked in annoyance, tossing his ponytail back and playing with his sword.  
  
"Feh, she's just my bitch, not my mate," Inuyasha snarled.  
  
"I always thought she was both," Sesshoumaru commented.  
  
Rin and Jaken danced in circles around him.  
  
"Hey, there's that Hobo guy," Inuyasha said as the gang shuffled along. "My sword is bigger than his." He grinned in subtle male satisfaction.  
  
"I would venture to say that all our swords are bigger than his, Inubaka," Kouga said, elbowing his rival with a wink.  
  
"Feh!"  
  
They passed dozens of teenagers getting out of high school, including one cluster that was jabbering about something called a "prom." The groups of chattering teenagers in short skirts swirled around them, and the only way Sango was preventing Miroku from groping them was by holding his hands.  
  
They finally saw Kagome, her inky-blue-black hair contrasting her deep azure eyes, clustered with her friends around a tall stranger. The new girl had a waterfall of sandy blonde hair that fell down to her ankles, a soft, dusky tan, and eyes of liquid violet. She had kitty ears.  
  
"Hi guys! Its been a while since you all came to pick me up!" Kagome waved them over, and they all shuffled along sheepishly, except for Sesshoumaru, who was standing frozen to the spot, and a confused Kagura trying to shake him awake.  
  
"Sesshoumaru-honey, what's wrong?" Kagura oozed with concern.  
  
"Ma-Makoto," he said in a surprisingly firm voice.  
  
"Every, meet Makoto. Her real name is something unprounounceable so she asked us to just call her that."  
  
"Glendollewellyn," the foreigner said, the syllables rolling off her tongue. She curtsied gracefully.  
  
"She's from Sweden!"  
  
"Wales, actually."  
  
"Like, whatever!"  
  
Sesshoumaru was still standing frozen to the spot, tears pooling in the corner of his eyes.   
  
Makoto-Glendollewellyn gracefully walked towards them.  
  
"Hi, Sesh," she said casually, in perfect Japanese. "O genki desu ka?"  
  
"O genku desu. I thought you were dead."  
  
"I was dead. Ever hear of reincarnation?"  
  
"So you're not the Makoto I once love--er, knew," Sesshoumaru said, hastily amending his sentence at the posessive glare from Kagura.  
  
"Wait a minute -- how do you two know each other?" Kagome was confuzzled.  
  
Makoto-Glendollewellyn shrugged. "Oh, about six hundred years ago we were married. And then I was stoned to death by angry villagers for being a psychic kitty hanyou."  
  
"Hanyou are weak. I couldn't save her."  
  
"Unlike most reincarnations, since I was a Seer, I was able to keep the memories of my past life. So YOU'RE Inuyasha," Makoto-Glendollewellyn said, changing the subject and turning to face the rest of the group."  
  
"How the hell do you know me?"  
  
Makoto-Gledollewellyn grinned. "I was there when you were born! And when you were concieved, too, although since it was spring and all of us were in heat at the time the memories are kinda hazy." Makoto grinned even more widely.  
  
Inuyasha just stared at her.  
  
Kagome tried to break the awkward silence that followed. "Hey, everyone, let's go catch a bite to eat. There's an oden stand next to WacDonald's. We can sit in the park."  
  
Inuyasha promptly fell to the ground. "Stupid bitch! I want cup ramen instead!"  
  
"There's a ramen stand two doors down!"  
  
"I said I want CUP RAMEN, not freshly prepared! Kikyou was never this dense."  
  
"You're a meanie!" Kagome ran away crying.  
  
The group, or what remained of it after Inuyasha ran after Kagome to console her, stood in line for oden.  
  
Kagura was glaring at Makoto-Glendollewellyn.  
  
"Don't worry, I'm not of a mind to steal my husband back," Makoto said to jealous wind demon. "Especially since you've a family. Your little girl is so cute! Keep him happy, okay? Besides, Blue Eyes here is more my speed." Makoto huggled Kouga, who was so surprised by the action that he almost dropped his kilt.  
  
Sango mused, "How did you know to attend Kagome's high school?"  
  
"I'm psychic!" Makoto-Gwendollewlyn laughed.  
  
"No, really, how did you know?"  
  
". . ." Makoto-Gwendollewlyn sweatdropped.  
  
"She actually is psychic," Sesshoumaru explained gravely.  
  
"Ohhhhh."  
  
They all purchased their oden from the stand and sat down in the park to eat.  
  
"Itakimasu!" Makoto-Gwendollewelyn and Shippou sang, while the others sort of mumbled it.  
  
"I can't eat this, it has meat in it," Kagura complained. "And I don't know how to use o-hashi. Naraku never taught me table manners."  
  
"Who is Naraku?" Makoto-Glendollewellyn asked curiously. She snuggled up to Kouga, who didn't protest.  
  
Shippou volunteered. "It's a long story, but fortunately, Kagome has her fansubs so we don't have to wait for the DVDs. What are you doing for the next, oh, 75 hours?"  
  
Extra clichés: Everyone can cross the well suddenly and no one comments on it. All extra characters can be safely paired off with each other. Breaking the fourth wall is permissable as long as it's funny. Kagome talks like a valley girl. No one comments on kitty ears. " '. . .' " is an acceptable substitute for "He/She was silent." Everything in Japan can be purchased from either a stand or a vending machine.  
  
The body of the text is exactly 800 words, excluding the titles and the summary. 


End file.
